When Aidan Became a Brother
“Maybe everything wouldn’t be perfect for this baby. Maybe he would have to fix mistakes he didn’t even know he was making. And maybe that was okay.”
“When Aidan Became a Brother,” by Kyle Lukoff is about a special little boy preparing for a new member of the family - well, that and so much more. When Aidan was born, everyone thought he was a girl and he was raised as such. However, once he realized he was a trans boy, Aidan and his parents fixed the parts of his life that didn’t fit anymore, and he settled happily into his new life as himself. When Aidan’s parents announce that they’re going to have another baby, he wants to do everything he can to make things right for his new sibling from the beginning. Aidan wants to make sure this child never feels trapped, misidentified, or othered like Aidan did. But how can you be sure everything is perfect?
The feeling of getting things just right is something many of us can relate to. “When Aidan Became a Brother” is a story that resonates with transgender children, children concerned about becoming an older sibling, and children navigating the nuances of being part of a family and being a part of the world outside of that. While this book is an important read for everyone, transgender or not, it is especially meaningful to children who are transgender because it was written by someone who is trans themselves.
As a person who is himself transgender, Kyle Lukoff is considered an #OwnVoices author. #OwnVoices is a term coined by the writer Corinne Duyvis, and refers to an author from a marginalized or under-represented group writing about their own experiences/from their own perspective, rather than someone from an outside perspective writing as a character from an underrepresented group. It’s not only important for children to see themselves represented in books, but also that the writer is like them, telling a story with the authority that only a person of that community can truly claim.
In #OwnVoices books, the author is writing what they know, what they have experienced rather than someone from outside of that particular community telling what they perceive the identity to be. When the only people writing about marginalized groups are those in the dominant culture, we run the risk of a single story that can potentially perpetuate harmful narratives that reinforce negative stereotypes. #OwnVoices books add to the complexity of an identity by portraying the subtle nuances of a cultural community that other authors might miss or misinterpret.
We know that this representation matters. When thanking the various groups of voters who supported him, President-Elect Biden specifically named transgender folks among many groups of people. This is important because, during a historic speech where millions of people were watching, people who are transgender were mentioned in a positive, affirming way. This is in stark contrast to the message sent by the previous administration which in so many ways demonized, punished, and worked to oppress people who are transgender as well as other members of the LGBTQ+ community. By specially naming and thanking “...Democrats, Republicans, independents, progressives, moderates, conservatives, young, old, urban, suburban, rural, gay, straight, transgender, white, Latino, Asian, Native American” Biden said, “all are welcome.”
This is a story that reinforces that welcoming message by portraying the powerful empathy of a little boy making change for his coming sibling. I especially love that this book honors mistakes that can be made in trying to do so. Mistakes will happen (2016, anyone?), but we must trust each other to make it right, make it better.
How incredible it is that we can put that trust in the next generations’ hands. What messages will we send them about their future? Whatever the messages maybe will become the history upon which our children will continue to grow. The messages will be the tools we are offering them to manage the known and unknown. That’s why representation matters. That’s why it is so important that our children see empathy, good moral character in their leaders, family members, and adults. Character matters.
Teachers
Nervous about saying the word transgender in your classroom? Do your research beforehand and get comfortable with terms, and tough questions that might come up. When you do introduce this book, take a deep breath, and don’t be too afraid of getting it wrong. If we can learn anything from Aidan and his family, we know that mistakes are learning opportunities - so long as you do the work to make it right. Continue to add and curate books inclusive of all identities to ensure that your library captures the wide spectrum of students in our schools and communities. Welcoming Schools has a book list, “Great Diverse Children’s Books with Transgender, Non-Binary, and Gender Expansive Children” for additional reading in your classroom. (http://www.welcomingschools.org/pages/looking-atgender-identity-with-childrens-books/).
Some Things to Think About…
Questions
In the paint store, Aidan could tell that the paint guy wanted to ask another question. What question do you think Aidan is worried about? Why do you think that? What questions make you nervous?
The author never mentions Aidan’s first name when his family thought he was a girl. Why do you think the author chose to leave it out? We also never learn the gender of the baby. Why do you think that is? Why does/doesn’t it matter what your gender may be?
Activities
Before reading the story, ask your child to describe what boys are and what girls are. What do they look like? What toys do they play with? After reading the story, re-examine the answers and decide what to change if there is anything to change.
I wonder what happens to Aidan’s family after the party at the end of the book. Write a sequel explaining what happens. Who does the baby grow up to be? What does the family look like and experience together in the years to come?
illustrated by Kaylani Juanita
