My Footprints
“Perhaps one way to help advance a better world is to have these difficult conversations with our children rather than dismissing them or pretending they don’t hurt.”
“My Footprints” by Bao Phi is his second story following “A Different Pond.” In this unique story, the author explores how one little girl handles her feelings about being bullied at school. After being teased in class, Thuy imagines herself as a variety of creatures that she believes would be impervious to the bullying of others. Lost in her imagination on her walk home, Thuy creates footprints in the snow that mimic each creature. Once she reaches home, she has a creative way of opening up to her mothers about how she is feeling. Together they find a way to overcome these feelings because “we’re stronger together.”
This book is an essential representation of many intersecting stereotypes that Thuy experiences. At school she is teased for having two moms, she is told to go back to where she came from and is called names for being a girl. Sadly, these are the realities that many children (and adults) experience. This book is an important vehicle for navigating these tough feelings.
In his Author’s Note at the end, Bao Phi writes that “One thing that may be universal to all parents is, we want our kids to have an easier, better life than we did.” Having difficult conversations with your children, and not dismissing their problems, is one of the hardest parts of being a parent. After I read it over a couple of times that I realized how perfectly Thuy’s parents were at giving their daughter an opportunity to open up to them. When she doesn’t want to talk, they invite her to play. Play is a language that is universally understood by all children. Their combined imaginings allow Thuy to say all kinds of things to them about her problems that she might never confess otherwise.
Teachers
We recommend this book for children between Kindergarten and 3rd grade.
We cannot avoid having difficult or scary conversations with our students. Part of our work is to provide them with the tools to manage these feelings. We recommend having a safe space or a “cool down corner” where children can choose to spend time while they deescalate. We know that classroom space is limited, so even a small floor pillow works to signal to the child that this is a safe space.
During virtual learning, we have also suggested that parents have a cozy area for their children to retreat to when screen time becomes overwhelming. This is not an intuitive practice for all families, so it is worth your time to help parents understand how a calm down corner helps their child to learn to soothe themselves. Without being in a calm mindset, other learning cannot happen effectively.
Some Things to Think About…
How are you feeling right now? Is it easy or hard for you to name your feelings?
Why do you think Thuy pretends to be different animals instead of herself?
What animal would you be if you could be an animal for a day? Why?
Activity Idea: Charades is a great game that can be played in class online or in-person as well as at home. What’s great about this game is it requires few materials and is highly adjustable. Use this game to explore feelings. Write out different feelings and then the others try to guess what it is. Your child’s emotional language and understand will build through play in a way that connects you.
illustrated by Basia Tran
