Mirror
“Not every story has a happy ending, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth telling.”
“Mirror” by Suzy Lee is a beautiful story that pulls the reader in time and time again. The illustrations alone tell the story of a little girl - a story that is determined entirely by the reader’s interpretation of the images. Clearly, Lee wants the readers to examine feelings of loneliness, joy, playfulness anger, and regret but on our own terms and from our own understanding.
Books without words provide children the opportunity to decipher meaning by reading pictures. This is a skill that they regularly encounter as they “read” their world. So many messages are delivered in a nonverbal manner. Great storytelling can mimic that experience.
Reading wordless books empowers children as storytellers and when adults listen, it can provide us with some understanding of the child’s experiences and feelings. In both parenting and education, truly knowing a child takes time, patience, and commitment to listening intentionally. However, sometimes we forget how to listen, or we don’t have the experiences to prompt that sharing from a child. “Mirror” and books like it can help with that.
Because of its sad beginning and end, this book in particular invites children to talk about feelings that are difficult to manage and uncomfortable to experience. Discussing uncomfortable feelings like anger and sadness is about building emotional intelligence.
Rather than pushing it away, fixing it immediately, or ignoring sadness, it is imperative that we teach children about what our feelings can do for us. For example, we can mention that sadness signals us to seek comfort from someone who cares. It can let us know that something isn’t quite right. Sadness also allows us the important alone/downtime we need to think things through. These are all healthy ways of thinking about these feelings.
Why start so young? Children already experience all ranges of emotions so naming them and honoring emotions as part of the human experience creates a foundation from which they can draw upon throughout their life. People who have the skills to manage and understand their feelings are more likely to know when to ask for help and will ultimately fare better.
Furthermore, many students across the nation are dealing with sudden changes to their social lives and daily routines. Those who were at risk before may also be suffering due to the inability to access education, food insecurity and some may even experience unsafe (emotional or physical) home environments. These challenges can present feelings of sadness, despair, anxiety, and stress.
If it’s happening in their world, it is worth talking about. Even if it isn’t happening directly to the children we are reading this with, it is important for them to be exposed to what others might experience as part of building empathy and understanding.
Do not discredit the importance of these talks. In the US, suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among children and adolescents ages 10-24, and the 3rd leading cause of death among 12-year-olds. Nearly one of every eight children between the ages 6 and 12 has suicidal thoughts.
This is alarming, but know that there is hope. Every one of us can play a role in efforts to help save lives and reverse this troubling rise in suicide. We have the power to reduce the pain that many feel as long as we are willing to face it. Having lost two friends to suicide, I cannot emphasize this enough.
Having an open line of communication about mental health and specifically, depression is clearly one important way to take preemptive action with our kids. Start slowly and gauge the child’s interest and understanding as you go. We don’t need to give them too much information, and in fact, asking open-ended questions is the best way to make sure this is age-appropriate. Just remember to make sure you listen as much as you talk. They need to know you are listening.
Some Things to Think About…
Teachers
Incorporate more books without words to understand your students’ knowledge, personalities, etc. Knowing your children is an absolute must when making sure that the learning opportunities you provide are relevant. Giving the students a chance to be the storytellers gives them a sense of empowerment, signals to them that you value their voice, and requires them to think deeply about what they see.
Discussion questions
Why did the author choose not to include words in this book? Do we need words to explain ourselves and our ideas? Why or why not?
This book does not have a happy ending. What do you think about that? Why?
Tell a family member about a time when you felt really really sad. Ask them what they do to feel better.
Activity idea
Make your own inkblots and show them to various people. Ask them what they see and what it makes them feel. You’ll understand that we all have different perspectives even when presented with the same information.
